Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
