My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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