omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize