Porn is love you can see.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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