It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
