We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
