she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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