ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
