Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
