it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
