I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize