My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
