everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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