i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
A bitchslap is in order.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
