Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
