I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
