I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
