You can't special order awesome
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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