Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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