nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
