it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
