Need sex. Gaining weight.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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