I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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