apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There r osticjed everywhere
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
