...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
