I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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