The maid of honor just puked.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
