he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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