his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
