Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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