That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
