How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
