I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
