I hate your face
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
