I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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