Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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