You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
