why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Randomize
