remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
