Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
