i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
