were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
