i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
