I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
