We tried having a conversation with our noses.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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