Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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