i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
