Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How external is "for external use only"?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I FOUND THE LEGS
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
