We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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