i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
