'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize