Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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